Books like Beowulf for Cretins by Ann McMan

The Hobbit is a tale of high adventure, undertaken by a company of dwarves in search of dragon-guarded gold. A reluctant partner in this perilous quest is Bilbo Baggins, a comfort-loving unambitious hobbit, who surprises even himself by his resourcefulness and skill as a burglar. Encounters with trolls, goblins, dwarves, elves, and giant spiders, conversations with the dragon, Smaug, and a rather unwilling presence at the Battle of Five Armies are just some of the adventures that befall Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins has taken his place among the ranks of the immortals of children’s fiction. Written by Professor Tolkien for his children, The Hobbit met with instant critical acclaim when published.

After a disastrous blind date, Darcy Lowell is desperate to stop her well-meaning brother from playing matchmaker ever again. Love—and the inevitable heartbreak—is the last thing she wants. So she fibs and says her latest set up was a success. Darcy doesn’t expect her lie to bite her in the ass. Elle Jones, one of the astrologers behind the popular Twitter account Oh My Stars, dreams of finding her soul mate. But she knows it is most assuredly not Darcy... a no-nonsense stick-in-the-mud, who is way too analytical, punctual, and skeptical for someone as free-spirited as Elle. When Darcy’s brother—and Elle's new business partner—expresses how happy he is that they hit it off, Elle is baffled. Was Darcy on the same date? Because... awkward. Darcy begs Elle to play along and she agrees to pretend they’re dating. But with a few conditions: Darcy must help Elle navigate her own overbearing family during the holidays and their arrangement expires on New Year’s Eve. The last thing they expect is to develop real feelings during a faux relationship. But maybe opposites can attract when true love is written in the stars?

Seventeen-year-old Flannery Jansen develops a lusty obsession for a female graduate student teacher and by chance ends up in one of her classes, but as the two become closer, Flannery learns more about Anne than she ever wanted to.

CJ Roshe knows she can never relax her vigilance, especially when her grip on her secrets begins to slip. Contact with the good-hearted Karita Hanssen leaves CJ wishing for impossible things—friends, roots, a lover who knows her real name. With a life cheerfully balanced between all the things that she loves, Karita gives freely of her time and affection. She isn't looking for more until something in CJ's eyes suggests that there could be feelings deeper, stronger—and more dangerous—than any she has ever felt. CJ is committed to only tonight with her body and certainly no tomorrows when it comes to her heart. Karita has always lived for today while she waits for tomorrow to happen. One kiss couldn't change all that—unless it's the kiss that counted.

The Gulf of Mexico, 1702: When pirates of the square-rigger Original Sin steal ashore to abduct a doctor to tend to their wounded, they end up settling for the doctor’s attractive fiancée―Celia Pierce, the town seamstress. Together with Gayle Malvern, daughter of wounded pirate captain “Madman” Malvern, Celia becomes a reluctant participant in an unexpectedly thrilling journey through the Caribbean. For Gayle, Celia’s presence is at first a welcome and shapely distraction, but as her attraction to the seamstress deepens, she realizes that Celia comes to mean more to her than is almost cerntainly prudent. As Celia and Gayle navigate the perilous territories of gypsies, prostitutes, mercenaries, and slave-traders, they forge a partnership born of necessity that Gayle soon hopes will veer away from insurmountable danger―and instead detour directly to her bed.

Jazz pianist Liz Randall is reeling from her wife's death and struggling to keep their band together. An invitation to play at the prestigious Monterey Jazz Festival is an opportunity she can't turn down, and a challenge she might not be up to until she enlists the help of a mysterious neighbor who's surprisingly knowledgeable about jazz. When Jac Winters reluctantly agrees to help, a past she wants to forget threatens to destroy the carefully ordered life she's built with her guide dog, Max, in the quiet town of Carmel-by-the-Sea. With music and love swirling around them like ocean currents, will Liz and Jac play it safe or risk everything on making a comeback?

Lambda Literary Awards Winner 2020 - Aurora's Angel is a blend of action, adventure and slow-burn romance centered around shapeshifters, set in a vivid fantasy world. Joined in a battle for survival a broken-winged angel and a shapeshifter huntress with a bloody past form a bond that may change their world. Alone since her father’s murder, Aurora has spent years hunting his killers. Battle-weary she’s ready to start over where no one knows who or what she is – she just has one last mission. Everything is going to plan until she discovers the beautiful winged girl caged underground. Her decision to rescue Evie and to help her get home safely, despite avians being infamous for selling out shifters like Aurora to cutters and black-market flesh dealers, will put her on a perilous path. As the women travel together their attraction grows but Aurora is guarding her lonely heart almost as much as her dangerous secrets and Evie is struggling to accept how important Aurora has become to her. When their enemies conspire to kill them, they may be each other’s only hope. Aurora is powerful but she’s also emotionally scarred and it will be up to Evie to save her from herself and to fight for them or innocent people will die along with the guilty ones and Aurora will disappear from Evie’s life forever.

No matter how much we plan, life—and people—have a way of surprising us. For Doctor KT O'Bannon, a near-fatal tragedy derails a career and disrupts everything she thought she knew about herself and her future. Battered and nearly broken, she turns for solace to the one woman who knows her best, her ex-lover Doctor Tory King. Their unexpected reunion in Provincetown uncovers old wounds, forges new bonds, and awakens long-buried passions. While Tory's lover Sheriff Reese Conlon struggles to uncover a deadly drug ring and Officer Bri Parker navigates the torturous path between friendship and desire, Tory and KT—and those who love them—are forced to examine the boundaries of love, friendship, and the ties that transcend time.

Michael Thomas Ford delivers a triumphant first novel about a group of gay men looking for love, losing the past, and finding themselves in the bars and on the beaches of Provincetown. Josh Felling has always been a romantic--up until the moment his lover Doug announced that he'd had an affair with a guy from their gym. Now, with his life playing out like a very bad movie of the week, Josh impulsively heads to the Cape for a few days--long enough to figure out where his relationship--what's left of it--might be going. But the summer has other plans for Josh, and his trip to P-town will bring bigger changes than he ever imagined. With its windswept dunes, lazy summer days, and starry nights filled with possibilities, Provincetown holds special appeal for those who call it home. . .and for those who come seeking its open welcome. People like Reilly Brennan, son of an old P-town family, whose days are caught up in wedding plans, even as his nights are increasingly taken over by heated fantasies about other men. . .Wide-eyed, blond-haired, All-American Toby Evans, an escapee from the Midwest ready to spend the summer in the equivalent of gay boot camp for anyone who will tutor him. . .Elegant Emmeline, age unknown, a southern belle straight out of Faulkner, with a mean drag act and almost enough money for her permanent gender transformation. . .Ty Rusk, one of Hollywood's hottest new stars hiding an ages-old secrets about to explode. Weaving in and out of these and other lives like the concierge of a Grand Hotel, Josh is in for the summer of his life, a time of turning points and bridges burned, of second chances and new beginnings, of renewal and hope that will bring him closer to becoming the man he needs to be.

A retelling of the classic tale of Beowulf, appropriate for young adults.

The Narrator's lesbian lover, Marya, inherits a large, eerie Montana home, and the two women find a house full of unsolved mysteries

After a lengthy detailed introduction on background material, the important myths are retold.

A police lieutenant with the elite "Red Dogs" until she retired at twenty-nine , Aud Torvigen is a rangy six-footer with eyes the color of cement and a tendency to hurt people who get in her way. Born in Norway into the failed marriage between a Scandinavian diplomat and an American businessman, she now makes Atlanta her home, luxuriating in the lush heat and brashness of the New South. She glides easily between the world of silken elegance and that of sleaze and sudden savagery, equally at home in both; functional, deadly, and temporarily quiescent, like a folded razor.On a humid April evening between storms, out walking just to stay sharp, she turns a corner and collides with a running woman, Catching the scent of clean, rain-soaked hair, Aud nods and silently tells the stranger Today, you are lucky, and moves on—when behind her house explodes, incinerating its sole occupant, a renowned art historian. When Aud turns back, the woman is gone.

Any night La Llorona walks the river is a night to stay indoors. One moonlit midnight, two very different women meet on the banks of the muddy Rio Grande. Grady Wrenn is a cultural anthropologist, enthralled by a local ghost story about a vengeful spirit known as the River Walker. Elena Montalvo, a spiritual healer, is that tortured spirit's only defender. Together, Grady and Elena must find a way to end the River Walker's murderous vendetta-- and overcome a maze of cultural barriers to find each other.

Best Lesbian Erotica 2004 journeys into the world of lesbian sex with uncommon, edgy stories that push lesbian lust and desire to new heights. This year’s stories are selected by award-winning author Michelle Tea, whose gritty, personal writing has earned her the accolade "a modern-day Beat" from Publishers Weekly.

The open road is the only place that seems safe to Shirley "Mutt" Hopper. Escaping her Mississippi home, she joins the other wanderers, riding freight trains and working in fields and orchards across the United States. When she begs a night's sleep in a Nebraska barn, she can't imagine how completely the lovely farmer's daughter, Annie Callahan, is about to change her life. Many years and hard knocks later, Mutt finds that at least Annie was able to pursue her dreams. Now a glamorous, wealthy and pampered movie star married to one of Hollywood's leading men, Annie seems totally out of reach. How could Mutt possibly take away Annie's perfect life, even in the name of love? It's bum times and good times and the power of love in a sweeping romance from the award-winning author of Not Every River and Spring Tide!

Five years ago, Benji Green lost his beloved father, Big Eddie, who drowned when his truck crashed into a river. All called it an accident, but Benji thought it more. However, even years later, he is buried deep in his grief, throwing himself into taking over Big Eddie's convenience store in the small town of Roseland, Oregon. Surrounded by his mother and three aunts, he lives day by day, struggling to keep his head above water.But Roseland is no ordinary place.With ever-increasing dreams of his father's death and waking visions of feathers on the surface of a river, Benji's definition of reality is starting to bend. He thinks himself haunted, but whether by ghosts or memories, he can no longer tell. It's not until the impossible happens and a man falls from the sky and leaves the burning imprint of wings on the ground that he begins to understand that the world around him is more mysterious than he could have possibly imagined. It's also more dangerous, as forces beyond anyone's control are descending on Roseland, revealing long hidden truths about friends, family, and the man named Calliel who Benji is finding he can no longer live without.